This past week, I took one last vacation before summer officially wraps up, and the Cape Cod resort delivered – sun on my face, cool ocean air, a bit of whale watching and a great chance to slow down. One evening at the resort’s fire pit, I struck up a conversation with another guy sitting nearby. Turned out he was a fellow Army vet. He’d been an infantry grunt; I had served as a Special Forces team leader, and while we didn’t operate in the same units or the same areas, we’d both seen combat.
What started as casual small talk quickly got real. We shared stories – some brutal, some strangely beautiful. The kind you don’t tell just anyone, but that somehow made perfect sense around a fire with a fellow combat vet. And as we talked, I realized something surprising: the fire, the luxury of our surroundings, even the peacefulness of vacation couldn’t compete with the bond of shared adversity. That fire pit, as awesome as it was, wasn’t what made us feel connected. It was our shared hardship.
As we close in on the end of summer and the beginning of a new school year for our kids, that thought sticks with me – the sharp contrast between comfort and combat, ease and effort. Why do hard experiences bond people so quickly? Why does suffering do that?
Because comfort, while seductive, is costly. And adversity, though painful, is a gift.
The cost of comfort often goes unnoticed until it’s already been paid. We grow soft in ways we don’t notice: our bodies weaken, our immune systems falter, and our default mode becomes sedentary. But it doesn’t stop at the physical. Comfort erodes our emotional resilience. It feeds anxiety. It shrinks our ability to face hardship. And for leaders, it’s even more dangerous. Comfort breeds entitlement, not endurance. Most have heard that nothing worthwhile comes easy, yet we keep reaching for the path of least resistance.
Adversity, on the other hand, is a ruthless but honest teacher. It exposes our limits and dares us to push past them. Pain isn’t punishment. It’s preparation. I think back to one of our Freedom Ops events this past spring – GTE 57 in Tallahassee. Cadre Anaconda staged a simulated flood evacuation near the end of a grueling overnight combined ruck/run event. Men had to move sandbags, gear, and teammates quickly despite exhaustion. The scenario was fiction, but the urgency was real (see here). And that shared adversity? It bonded those men tighter than any conference or workshop ever could. They didn’t just get through it. They stood up for one another in the thick of it.
We’re not trying to create suffering. But we stop avoiding it. Because we know what it produces.
Corporate America is finally catching on. Leading through volatility is now one of the most in-demand skills in U.S. companies according to senior HR execs from multiple Fortune 100s. The traditional approach to leadership development – case studies, classroom learning, certifications – doesn’t cut it when pressure hits. What works? Experiential training under stress (more about that here). This is exactly the kind of adversity-driven leadership we build at Freedom Ops.
Because clarity doesn’t come from comfort. Comfort avoids struggle; adversity teaches you how to endure it. Comfort shields you from failure; adversity forces you to face it. Comfort flatters you; adversity tells the truth.
Leaders aren’t made by avoiding the hard things. They’re shaped by engaging with them deliberately, repeatedly, with purpose. As Einstein said, “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” And it’s true. When the pressure hits, the real you shows up.
At Freedom Ops, we simulate pressure because life won’t wait until you’re ready. Darkness, fatigue, uncertainty – we welcome them. Because adversity is the stone that sharpens brotherhood. And growth is the reward.
The pressure is coming – at home, at work, in your community. It’s not a question of if, but when. And when it comes, you’ll need the strength that’s been earned through hardship.
So ask yourself: where in your life have you gotten too comfortable? And what’s one decision you can make this week to lean into resistance instead of away from it?
Then do more than just think about it – sign up for a Freedom Ops event here. Step into discomfort. Train under pressure. Find out who you really are – before the world finds out for you.
Because comfort never built a capable man. Adversity did.